How I work

How I work

Throughout our lives, we all developed strategies to get our basic needs met by adapting to environments and circumstances.  The forces of habit and momentum are powerful, and even though those environments no longer exist, our adaptations to them continue on.  These patterns function as impenetrable yet invisible barriers between us and new, more useful ways of relating to people and our environment. 

My goal is to help create a compassionate, fertile space for you to witness and accept yourself as you are now, including how you came to be here.  Once the patterns and their reasons for existing are acknowledged, you can gradual consider which ones might no longer serve you, so that you can more closely align your choices with your own values, goals and dreams.   

Exploring our patterns in a spirit of curiosity and compassion often creates a shift of perspective, allowing new choices and possibilities to come into view.  As Carl Rogers said: “the curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.”  

Creating change, of course, can itself be a slow and difficult process, requiring experimentation, direction, and tenacity.  I use multiple therapeutic modalities to both create conditions in which change is possible and help further it.  Methods including cognitive, affective and behavioral strategies, inter and intra-session self-tracking, and mindfulness and somatic exercises. You are always invited to provide feedback on what is most comfortable and useful for you.

How is therapy different from talking to a friend?

For most of us, friendships are a beautiful and necessary part of a fulfilling life.

Unlike a friend or family member, a therapist exists outside the immediate ecosystem of your life and has no personal stake in your choices.  He or she is not significantly impacted by the practical decisions you make.  Also, therapists are trained both to recognize and to help you change cognitive, emotional and behavioral patterns that lead to distress and dysfunction.

Therapy, like a friendship or any other human relationship, is a function of the specific individuals who participate in it.  It is essential that you feel at ease, comfortable and free to share what’s on your mind.  If you don’t feel this way about me (or any therapist), you should find a different one

It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found   - D.W. Winnicott